“modern talk” about belly rubbing cures

One of the things I enjoy the most about my time in Maun is the strange things that you read along the way whether on a sign, menu or in the local paper. While English and Setswana are the official languages of Botswana, the use of English often comes across as peculiar or odd from an American perspective. A street sign we pass daily, for example, reads “Modern Talk – Refrigeration, Welding and Landscaping.” What do you think they mean by “modern talk”?? As opposed to what…“olden day” talk? I just don’t get it (not to mention wondering how one business can offer these three diverse services!).

At a restaurant for lunch the other day I opened the menu to read “Remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.” This popular eating establishment, the Bon Arrivee, is situated across the street from the airport and has an “flying” theme to it. Pictures of planes riddle the walls and plastic models of planes hang from the ceiling. In my attempt to eat a sufficient amount of fruits and vegetables (quite a task in this beef loving society) we sometimes go there for their roasted vegetable sandwich (which is quite good if you have a couple of hours to take for lunch as they operate on “African time” which is much slower than “American time”). I suppose this quote is intended to be humorous (or nostalgic?) but it isn’t particularly funny given that Botswana has the second highest percent of adults infected with HIV in the world (with approximately 23.9% of their population infected). Also, the monopoly Air Botswana has on flights to and from Botswana result in very high ticket prices ($200 US one way) but not necessarily on time service. Hopefully not “dangerous” flying but certainly not reliable. The entire fleet of Air Botswana has only five planes!

Of course, my all time favorite venue for quotable quotes is The Ngami Times (www.ngamitimes.com) the local weekly paper that prides itself on being “The last newspaper established in the 20^th century” (is that something to be proud of?). In the December 18 issue the lead story headlines, “A Miracle of Christmas as Baby Saved.” The story describes a situation up in Shakawe where a mokoro (dug out canoe) carrying three women transporting reeds across the main stream capsized. A small baby was “swept downstream and sucked under water on a river notorious for its crocodiles and hippos.” The mother couldn’t swim but a couple of guys on the opposite shore saw what happened and rushed over in their motorboat to help. One of the guys “saw something pink under the water” and dove in to save the “seemingly lifeless infant from the deep green Okavango” (are you drawn in by the dramatic flair of the writing?).

OK… so far this seems like a nice rescue story but then it takes a turn toward the strange. The paper reports, “Guessing that the child might still be young enough that the special valve that protects infants from swallowing water could still be functioning, he rubbed the baby’s stomach against his own with a slowly, rolling motion, and suddenly more water streamed from the baby’s lungs.” (italics added for emphasis). Apparently this stomach rubbing technique worked as the child started to cough and cry. The paper then goes on to report that “It later was found the baby was much older than initially thought, but still [sic] this miracle handling did the trick” (credit goes directly to the slowly rolling motion of the belly rubbing). The article concludes with the rescuer stating, “When you want to live in the bush you better know what to do in an emergency.” Lesson for the day…belly rubbing saves lives.